Friday, October 17, 2008

I am losing my tongue

"ಪ್ಲೀಸ್ ಮ, ಪ್ರತಿ ಗಲ್ಲಿಯಲ್ಲೂ ಈ ರೀತಿಯ ಒಂದು ಸ್ಪರ್ಧೆ ಇರುತ್ತೆ, ಇದನ್ನು ಯಾಕೆ ನೋಡಬೇಕು?", ಎಂದು ನಾನು ರಾಗ ಎಳೆದೆ.
"ಇಲ್ಲ, ಸ್ಪರ್ಧೆನಲ್ಲ ನೋದಬೇಕಿರೋದು. ಸ್ಪರ್ಧಿಗಳ ಉತ್ತರಗಳು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿರುತ್ತವೆ. ಎರಡು ನಿಮಿಷ ನೋಡೋಣ, ತಾಳು", ಎಂದರು ನಮ್ಮಮ್ಮ.
ಎಂದಿನಂದೆ ಚನ್ನೆಲ್ಗಳನ್ನು ಬದಲಾಯಿಸುತ್ತಿರುವಾಗ ಈ-ಟಿವಿ ನಮ್ಮಮ್ಮನ ಗಮನ ಸೆಳೆದಿತ್ತು. ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಮಿಸ್.ಈ-ಟಿವಿ ಕಾರ್ಯಕ್ರಮ ಬರುತಿತ್ತು!
ಗೊಣಗಿಕೊಂಡು ನಾನು ಕೂಡ ನೋಡಲಾರಂಭಿಸಿದೆ.

ಸ್ಪರ್ಧಿಗಳು ತಮೆಗೆ ಸಿಕ್ಕಿದ ವಿಷಯದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಮಾತನಾಡುತಿದ್ದರು.
(ಕೇವಲ ಬಾಹ್ಯ ಸೌಂದರ್ಯ ಮಾತ್ರ ಅಲ್ಲ, ಬುದ್ಧಿಯನ್ನು ಕೂಡ ಅಳೆಯುತ್ತೇವೆ ಎಂಬ ಹೇಳಿಕೆಗೆ ಪೂರಕವಾಗಿರುವ ಸುತ್ತು.
ಇಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡಿ ಈ ಸುತ್ತು ಎಷ್ಟು ಅವಶ್ಯಕ ಅಂತ! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR75L08SBHo)

ಒಬ್ಬರಿಗಿಂತ ಮತ್ತೊಬ್ಬರು ವಿಷಯದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಬಿಟ್ಟು ಬೇರೆಲ್ಲ ಮಾತಾಡಿದರು.
ಕನ್ನಡ ಸರಿಯಾಗಿ ಬಾರದ ಓಂದು ಕೊಂಕಣಿ ಹುಡುಗಿಯ ಮಾತುಗಳನ್ನು ಕೇಳಿ ನಾವಿಬ್ಬರೂ ಕಣ್ಣೇರು ಬರುವಷ್ಟು ನಕ್ಕಿದೆವು.

[Ok, I give up :(
I had intended to continue writing in Kannada a little longer than this to let you know what prompted the rant below, but I just give up.
It is so hard to write in Kannada on Blogger.
Autosave kicks in every nanosecond and lasts for 2 minutes, cursor doesn't stay where you set it - it keeps reverting to its original position, Blogger suggested words appear far away from where you are typing and are mostly inaccurate, you have to relogin everytime you try to switch back from the preview mode to compose mode - and yet I have managed to type so much in Kannada.
*Totally immodest pat on the back done*

Blogger - I am grateful that you have a feature to transliterate from English to regional languages. It is uncannily accurate 95% of the times. But please make it less of a test on one's patience. Thank you!

For those of you able to read Kannada - The continuation from above is that laughing at the Konkani girl kicked awake my conscience and it took on it's most biting form reminding me that I have become less fluent in the language, haven't written in it for the past 8 years and maybe could not if I tried now. Basically instant karmic retribution for laughing at the Konkani girl.

For those of you unable to read Kannada - To cut a short story shorter, I laughed at a person talking on TV because she was speaking terrible Kannada and my conscience instantly turned back and punched me where it hurt the most - reminding me in essence that I have no right to laugh at anyone because I was over the years, slowly but surely, losing the grasp on my native tongue.]

Another thing that made it so hard to write is I had to grope around for words, construct sentences in my head before writing them and, it hurts me to admit this, use a translation site to get an equivalent Kannada word.

It always wasn't like this. Kannada is my mother tongue and I was and still am very fluent in it. It is the language I am most comfortable speaking. But slowly I am realising that my Kannada vocabulary has become impotent and I almost always think in English.
The voice in my head speaks in English.

Now, I don't mind this as long as I still retain my native tongue. But it seems to be slipping away and that scares me. I seem to pause to search for words and switch to English when the whole process becomes messy. And the frequency with which this happens these days scares me.

"You have a way with words, you have a voice, don't lose it. It's hard to come by but very easy to lose." This was what my +2 Kannada teacher had told me on my last day of school.
When study in the same school for 12 years and are in a relatively small town like Mysore your teachers are also your father's patients, your best friend's father, your next lane neighbors and sometimes family friends. 8 years after you come out of school they still ask about you when they meet your parents and 8 years after you come out of school, their words still ring in your ears. I feel Saraswati Miss would not be happy about my impotent vocabulary and inability to effortlessly write a paragraph today.

Does this happen to all of us? This slow seeping away of a language? This slow rotting away of one's first tongue?

College crowds are so heterogeneous that the only language having any currency is English. This is magnified at the work place. And to this add the fact that it is so much more intuitive to talk about technology in English.

Amidst all this, how do you still retain a working native tongue? Sure, we can all still talk in our mother tongues. But are we as fluent as we were? Are we able to write as we once used to?

According to me, the acid test of retaining your language is if you are able to pass it on to your child.

Now if I were to marry someone who speaks Kannada, it is almost certain my child would be able to speak Kannada. But that wouldn't require any effort from my side.
If I were to marry someone whose mother tongue is not Kannada, it would be an interesting proposition.
We both would end up talking in English.
And schools these days 'encourage' their students to converse in English even outside classrooms. (It's another matter that their 'encouragement' means imposing fines if someone is caught talking in any language other than English in corridors/playgrounds. And in some extreme cases calling the parents over for a counseling session if the child repeatedly errs. Don't scoff, I have seen these happen.)

In such a case a child will mostly grow up with mastery over only one language - English.
(And oh, there is always the possibility that I might marry a non-Indian. I don't think I will even teach my kids how to speak then. I will be busy staring at their black hair-brown skin-green eyes or other such exotic combinations!)

Isn't being a polyglot without even trying one of the advantages of being an Indian?
Don't we all seamlessly shift between our mother tongues, Hindi and English?
Will our next generation be equally adept?
Maybe not.

With English being the de-facto global language and language being a non-issue when people decide to marry, Gen Z (pronouncing it as zee) will all speak English like assembly-line Chuckys/Barbies.
(But being impossibly far sighted, I am stocking up on ‘Learn Mandarin in 10,000 days’ books before they run out. I’d be damned if I allowed the current US economy to short circuit my unborn child’s future!)

Maybe in my unborn-God-knows-when/if-will-be-born child’s times, Spelling Bee winners will have to spell words three ways.
"Your word for this round is Psychology."
"Can I have the definition please?"
"Science that deals with mental processes and behaviour"
"Can you use it in a sentence please?"
"Older generations were unaware of the psychological side effects of excessive gaming, like Digiblasting - tendency to try to blast people with an extended index finger thinking you are pressing the mouse."
"Thank You.
Classic spelling - Psychology.
Street Version - Sycology.
SMS lingo - sikologi."

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